How To Heal Your Inner Child

Most adults, regardless of age, have an inner child inside them. For some, it is that tiny voice that keeps on demanding attention. For some, it could be a kaleidoscope of uncomfortable memories that follow them no matter how occupied they get. All the needs that were unaddressed as a child keep surfacing up for an adult. A small trigger can refresh all that emotional pain. That is why it is crucial to do inner child work so that your inner self can be at peace.

In some cases, when there is no apparent cause of a negative pattern, such as anger bursts, therapists look back in time and find the reasons for the anger episodes. To sum up, yes, the inner child is inside every person. Most carry emotional baggage from childhood, while some might remember only joyful moments. Connecting and listening to both is equally necessary for the mental and physical wellbeing of a person.

There can be cases when a person's childhood is perfect. So, what about those people who do not carry any trauma? The answer is simple. Connecting to the joyful memories of childhood can help a person overcome challenges later in life.

These are some telltale signs a person needs to address their inner child.

If a slight trigger makes a person angry beyond measure, then there is for sure some trauma hidden inside. An imbalance of other emotions such as sadness, anxiety, fear, guilt can also sprout due to inner child wounds.

If a person is obsessed with alcohol and other addictions, chances are, they were not very good at handling emotions as a child. Perhaps they were not heard and understood by parents and adults around them.

Ever wonder why a person keeps attracting that emotionally unavailable partner, or keeps finding friends who betray? If not all, a good percentage of such people attract such people because of their unaddressed inner child wounds.

Here are some thought patterns and possible causes from a person’s childhood:

There are stages and methods to do inner child work. It is a process and takes patience and courage, but the result is so worth it.

The first step towards healing your inner child is believing and acknowledging that it is inside you and waiting for you to tend to it. An impactful set of affirmations from Ho'oponopono meditation to bring the inner child to the surface is:

I love you.

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

For a start, you can repeat this as many times as you would like till you feel better and ready to work further on the inner child wounds.

Once your inner child feels safe enough to be in direct contact with you, you will listen to their words throughout the day. Whenever a message comes through, have an inner dialogue with the child. If you need to say words such as I am sorry, on behalf of any other person, then do it. You deserve liberation from suffering, and if you can comfort your inner child yourself, this healing will last forever.

While listening to your inner child, see if you can teach them forgiveness. Tell your inner child that it is okay to have gone through all of that. Maybe your parents did not know any better way to deal with your needs and problems.

While looking for all the gaps that need to be filled, see the nature of your traumas. Some traumas are simple, such as neglect in terms of attention, but other desires are fulfilled. Some traumas are complex where there is neglect combined with deprivation of material things, even basic needs. By categorizing your traumas, you will know how to deal with all of its facets.

The inner child can easily cling to people where they find comfort. They might wait for a partner to comfort them or their parents to change one day and apologize. The role of a parent towards their child is providing safety, being non-judgmental, and giving unconditional love. While re-parenting, whenever your inner child complains about something, you have to reframe their mind by saying comforting words that you did not hear as a child.

Embracing emotions for inner child healing will help you lower the resistance. When we feel bad about experiencing any emotion, we only amplify it. When we invite the emotion in and listen to it, it loses its impact and then finds a release. Remember that it is okay not to be okay. While working through the inner child wounds, there will be times when you will get an urge to cry. When this happens, know that it is safe to do so. If you need more safety, you can work with a therapist and release your emotions under supervision.

Once you identify the traumas, practice writing letters to the inner child. You can even write responses to those letters from your inner child. It will get a lot of trauma out of your system. You will find resourceful solutions once everything is clear. You can maintain an inner child journal to note crucial points or write daily affirmations.

Only a calm mind can find solutions and nurture your inner child. While doing the inner child work, keep practicing staying in the present moment through mindfulness and meditation.